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That settles it then...
1 min read
Looks like I'm going to mexico bitches!!!!
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Guess I should explain...
4 min read
I told myself I wouldn't do this. I hate it when people post up omg my lief is so horrible because of this ans this and I am going to indirectly bitch at this person because I dont have the balls to say it to their face. Well, what can I say- I guess I'm a hypocrit.
I have been on this site for what, almost 4 years now? When I started out Antonio had just left me, I was angry, but then everyone got to see my life change with a new boyfriend, a new love- Brandon. I even changed my profile name to the nickname he had given me. Can't explain really how happy I was, it was wonderful, that blossoming love, new and exciting moments to share with someone, life was good.
You guys also got to see the rough times between us, through my journals and comments and what not. We weren't exactly the happiest couple this past year, me doubting our relationship, wanting to take things to fast- but I guess near the end I created myself a false little neverland where I pictured us happy.
I was wrong, Brandon wasn't happy.
I don't blame him- I am not even angry with him, how can you be angry with someone who did nothing wrong to you? Someone who would try and make you smile no matter the circumstance. Honestly, how can you be angry with a jester? He believed I was though, all the time- I yelled, I scolded, I glared, I was a brat- I didn't treat him right. I guess I was too use to being the Princess and didn't take his own feelings to account. He also said he was bored with me. All we did was sit on the couch and watch TV and I would fall asleep. This one, I can't agree with. We worked and went to school full time- the both of us- we got to see eachother during the very late night, and whenever we had the day time together either he was over at a friends house, or I was too busy with homework. But I wanted to go out to a club with him, I wanted to go to the movies, I was even going to buy a season pass for snowboarding next year so the two of us would have that excitement together, I wanted him to teach me to play the guitar (which he started, and I got easily frustrated, which couldn't have been very fun for him) but honestly, I don't find that fair. I tried to be exciting, buying outfits and dressing up for him and stuff, so I can't see how I was boring.... Angry yes, but boring no.
I am sad, depressed, gloomy, whatever the hell you want to call it. Thats 3 years of my life, wonderful years of my life, taken away from me and helpless at stopping it. But I can't say I blame him. I just hope he is happy, or at least happier than I could have ever made him.
Its come to the point where I don't see us being together again. I think its real this time, over for good. It sucks, I can't really help it, but I don't even know if I could take him back anymore. It hurts too much to think that he would leave me again- and like I said I want him happy, and I know he is going to find a better princess that will treat him like a knight... though I did prefer the jester
Honestly, it just feels like I screwed up- I'm sorry Brandon, thats all I can say, I am so..... so... sorry.
Love you all, thanks to everyone for their support thus far. I dont think I will be around for a long while, so sorry if I dont get back to your comments or journals or pictures anytime soon, I just have too much on my mind right now.
I have been on this site for what, almost 4 years now? When I started out Antonio had just left me, I was angry, but then everyone got to see my life change with a new boyfriend, a new love- Brandon. I even changed my profile name to the nickname he had given me. Can't explain really how happy I was, it was wonderful, that blossoming love, new and exciting moments to share with someone, life was good.
You guys also got to see the rough times between us, through my journals and comments and what not. We weren't exactly the happiest couple this past year, me doubting our relationship, wanting to take things to fast- but I guess near the end I created myself a false little neverland where I pictured us happy.
I was wrong, Brandon wasn't happy.
I don't blame him- I am not even angry with him, how can you be angry with someone who did nothing wrong to you? Someone who would try and make you smile no matter the circumstance. Honestly, how can you be angry with a jester? He believed I was though, all the time- I yelled, I scolded, I glared, I was a brat- I didn't treat him right. I guess I was too use to being the Princess and didn't take his own feelings to account. He also said he was bored with me. All we did was sit on the couch and watch TV and I would fall asleep. This one, I can't agree with. We worked and went to school full time- the both of us- we got to see eachother during the very late night, and whenever we had the day time together either he was over at a friends house, or I was too busy with homework. But I wanted to go out to a club with him, I wanted to go to the movies, I was even going to buy a season pass for snowboarding next year so the two of us would have that excitement together, I wanted him to teach me to play the guitar (which he started, and I got easily frustrated, which couldn't have been very fun for him) but honestly, I don't find that fair. I tried to be exciting, buying outfits and dressing up for him and stuff, so I can't see how I was boring.... Angry yes, but boring no.
I am sad, depressed, gloomy, whatever the hell you want to call it. Thats 3 years of my life, wonderful years of my life, taken away from me and helpless at stopping it. But I can't say I blame him. I just hope he is happy, or at least happier than I could have ever made him.
Its come to the point where I don't see us being together again. I think its real this time, over for good. It sucks, I can't really help it, but I don't even know if I could take him back anymore. It hurts too much to think that he would leave me again- and like I said I want him happy, and I know he is going to find a better princess that will treat him like a knight... though I did prefer the jester
Honestly, it just feels like I screwed up- I'm sorry Brandon, thats all I can say, I am so..... so... sorry.
Love you all, thanks to everyone for their support thus far. I dont think I will be around for a long while, so sorry if I dont get back to your comments or journals or pictures anytime soon, I just have too much on my mind right now.
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I couldn't look at that entry anymore... it just made me sad.
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Check it!
2 min read
Amazing weekend to end a crappy week....
I wanted to make this a short and sweet entry, but it seems a little hard so i'll just make it a semi short and sweet one.
It was me and Brandon's three year anniversary yesterday, so we decided to spend the weekend up in Breckenridge together.
The first day we stayed in the smallest hotel room of my life, ordered in pizza, played Nintendo Monopoly, and listened to the people behind us almost have sex.
The second day we ate a big breakfest, I learned how to snowboard, fell a lot a lot while Brandon showed off every now and then (which not so secretely I love it when he does it), ate the most expensive lunch of my life, went snowboarding again, fell asleep in the car, ate dinner at red robin, and went home to sleep.
All in all, I have to say that had to be one of the best weekends of my life. And to think, after all this time, me and Brandon still call eachother dude... ha!
Ow... my body hurts... all flippen over.
I wanted to make this a short and sweet entry, but it seems a little hard so i'll just make it a semi short and sweet one.
It was me and Brandon's three year anniversary yesterday, so we decided to spend the weekend up in Breckenridge together.
The first day we stayed in the smallest hotel room of my life, ordered in pizza, played Nintendo Monopoly, and listened to the people behind us almost have sex.
The second day we ate a big breakfest, I learned how to snowboard, fell a lot a lot while Brandon showed off every now and then (which not so secretely I love it when he does it), ate the most expensive lunch of my life, went snowboarding again, fell asleep in the car, ate dinner at red robin, and went home to sleep.
All in all, I have to say that had to be one of the best weekends of my life. And to think, after all this time, me and Brandon still call eachother dude... ha!
Ow... my body hurts... all flippen over.
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Guh...
5 min read
I've been posting more and more of these stupid things lately- I dunno why, not sure how many people exactly read this anymore. I guess its mostly for myself so I can get everything off my mind.
I don't know whats with me lately, I'm more emotional than usual. I dunno if its because I feel overloaded, or I haven't gotten a decent night sleep all quarter or what. Sad thing is I don't even seem that over loaded, I mean, the only time I have to do homework is the weekend, but hell its the whole weekend. It just means no party time for me.
Did I tell you? I forgot how to use 3ds max. Luke says not to be so hard on myself because I havent touched the program in like 3 years... but I dont care- I broke down in class the other day, it was like taking a test in math class all over again. I fricken hate it when I do that. Savvy was there for me though, she got me to calm down. But still I took on being project leader for my team for our group project. I guess that means it is cram time for me to relearn the program.
I'm sick of not being the best, or even one of the best- I know, I just have to learn and practice more and I'll get there. I'm too impatient I guess.
Another funny fact? I cut my hair. Thats right, its pretty much gone i have a thin bottom layer that goes not even an inch past my shoulders, the rest of my hair is a little below eye level, and then a little below chin level. Craziness- i'm gunna have to draw a new pic of my for my ID. most people seem to like it tho so i am happy. I guess I'm mostly happy cuz i think it brings out my personality- I'm not as cute, but honestly who am I trying to impress anymore? Brandon likes it so thats all that matters.
As for Cosplay matter- I have no time to work on my costumes, maybe next quarter where I will have some breathing room. I am pretty much taking all easy classes- its alot of money that I dont have tho. In fact me and brandon are so down on money we dont even know if we can really do anything for our 3 year anniversarry- weak sauce. we were going to go on a road trip, but then I got into a car accident and lost a bunch of money. Then not even a month later Brandon gets into a car accident, and doesn't know if he owes alot of money- but now there is no car. So it looks like we'll be doing dinner and a movie... like always =
I thought March would be an awesome month, but the only thing I get to look forward to now are my friends coming home- dont get me wrong i'm stoked but I thought Id be going on an awesome road trip and getting a tattoo and stuff- I dont even know if I can get my tattoo AGAIN because of the money problems, plus the scars aren't going away as fast as I had hoped. Who knows tho, maybe Lady Luck will be on my side for a change.
I think work is officially driving me insane- I dunno if its just me, but I dont understand how people can work like this. I think its because all i do is scan maps and clean them up- everyone else gets a change in their schedual every now and then. But me... I am stuck doing the same fricken job, over and over again. I have ADHD I dunno why these people think I can stay attuned for so long- I'm honestly surprised I made it this far. Best story ever? I finished up my second state (after having to redo about 60 of them) and was like I finished guys! and they were like great, now you can start heading back to the gulf with these maps- and pointed to a stack. How many maps are there?
Over 600.
And I'm by myself... Doing this all by myself. I almost shed a tear, hahahaha.
Moving out? I think it is officially never happening to me. I dont have the money- and Luke and Sam don't seem too inclined about doing it anymore. I dont blame them tho- I think sam makes pocket change where he works. And I think Luke still wants to- who know tho, I dont.
I could move in with Savvy- but she lives about a half an hour from school and 40 minutes from where I work. I dont think I'd be too happy about the drive every day = Itd be awesome tho- I love Savannah, hahaha.
Other news? I dunno- guess I'm all out, I have another photoshoot next weekend again, so I am pretty stoked. I'll put out a link to my photos once I get them all up somewhere.
Once again- I wan't to hear about you guys. Hows school/work/life?
<3 Tess
I don't know whats with me lately, I'm more emotional than usual. I dunno if its because I feel overloaded, or I haven't gotten a decent night sleep all quarter or what. Sad thing is I don't even seem that over loaded, I mean, the only time I have to do homework is the weekend, but hell its the whole weekend. It just means no party time for me.
Did I tell you? I forgot how to use 3ds max. Luke says not to be so hard on myself because I havent touched the program in like 3 years... but I dont care- I broke down in class the other day, it was like taking a test in math class all over again. I fricken hate it when I do that. Savvy was there for me though, she got me to calm down. But still I took on being project leader for my team for our group project. I guess that means it is cram time for me to relearn the program.
I'm sick of not being the best, or even one of the best- I know, I just have to learn and practice more and I'll get there. I'm too impatient I guess.
Another funny fact? I cut my hair. Thats right, its pretty much gone i have a thin bottom layer that goes not even an inch past my shoulders, the rest of my hair is a little below eye level, and then a little below chin level. Craziness- i'm gunna have to draw a new pic of my for my ID. most people seem to like it tho so i am happy. I guess I'm mostly happy cuz i think it brings out my personality- I'm not as cute, but honestly who am I trying to impress anymore? Brandon likes it so thats all that matters.
As for Cosplay matter- I have no time to work on my costumes, maybe next quarter where I will have some breathing room. I am pretty much taking all easy classes- its alot of money that I dont have tho. In fact me and brandon are so down on money we dont even know if we can really do anything for our 3 year anniversarry- weak sauce. we were going to go on a road trip, but then I got into a car accident and lost a bunch of money. Then not even a month later Brandon gets into a car accident, and doesn't know if he owes alot of money- but now there is no car. So it looks like we'll be doing dinner and a movie... like always =
I thought March would be an awesome month, but the only thing I get to look forward to now are my friends coming home- dont get me wrong i'm stoked but I thought Id be going on an awesome road trip and getting a tattoo and stuff- I dont even know if I can get my tattoo AGAIN because of the money problems, plus the scars aren't going away as fast as I had hoped. Who knows tho, maybe Lady Luck will be on my side for a change.
I think work is officially driving me insane- I dunno if its just me, but I dont understand how people can work like this. I think its because all i do is scan maps and clean them up- everyone else gets a change in their schedual every now and then. But me... I am stuck doing the same fricken job, over and over again. I have ADHD I dunno why these people think I can stay attuned for so long- I'm honestly surprised I made it this far. Best story ever? I finished up my second state (after having to redo about 60 of them) and was like I finished guys! and they were like great, now you can start heading back to the gulf with these maps- and pointed to a stack. How many maps are there?
Over 600.
And I'm by myself... Doing this all by myself. I almost shed a tear, hahahaha.
Moving out? I think it is officially never happening to me. I dont have the money- and Luke and Sam don't seem too inclined about doing it anymore. I dont blame them tho- I think sam makes pocket change where he works. And I think Luke still wants to- who know tho, I dont.
I could move in with Savvy- but she lives about a half an hour from school and 40 minutes from where I work. I dont think I'd be too happy about the drive every day = Itd be awesome tho- I love Savannah, hahaha.
Other news? I dunno- guess I'm all out, I have another photoshoot next weekend again, so I am pretty stoked. I'll put out a link to my photos once I get them all up somewhere.
Once again- I wan't to hear about you guys. Hows school/work/life?
<3 Tess
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